Think about your closest friendships. The ones where you can show up unannounced, sit in silence without it being awkward, or call at 2 AM when everything falls apart. Now ask yourself: when was the last time you made a friend like that?
If you’re under 35, chances are you’re struggling to answer that question. And you’re not alone. Across Europe, the US, and beyond, younger generations are facing an unprecedented crisis: they are finding it harder than ever to form genuine, lasting friendships.
This isn’t just a feeling. The data is alarming.
Let that sink in. Young people are now lonelier than the elderly. The generation with the most tools for communication in human history is the least connected on a human level. Something has gone terribly wrong.
The 5 Reasons Why Making Friends Has Become So Hard
1. The death of “third places”
Sociologist Ray Oldenburg coined the term “third places” — spaces that are neither home (first place) nor work (second place) where people gather informally. Think cafés where everyone knows your name, community centres, local sports clubs, church halls, neighbourhood pubs.
These places are disappearing at an alarming rate. Rising rents push out small gathering spots. Community centres lose funding. Local clubs struggle to attract members. The places where our parents and grandparents naturally bumped into each other and formed bonds — they simply don’t exist anymore for most young people.
What replaced them? Your couch. A screen. And the illusion that scrolling through Instagram counts as socialising.
2. Social media: the great pretender
Here’s the painful irony: social media was supposed to bring us closer. Instead, it gave us a counterfeit version of connection. You have 800 followers but nobody to call when you need help moving. You see everyone’s highlight reel but never their real face.
Social media creates three specific problems for genuine friendship:
- Passive consumption replaces active interaction. Liking a post feels like maintaining a relationship, but it isn’t. Real friendship requires effort, vulnerability, and time.
- Comparison kills confidence. When everyone seems to have a perfect friend group, reaching out feels risky. “What if they don’t like me?” becomes paralyzing.
- Algorithms reward isolation. The more time you spend scrolling alone, the more content you see. The platforms are literally designed to keep you away from real people.
3. Remote work and study killed the water cooler
Before 2020, most friendships among young adults happened by accident. You sat next to someone in a lecture hall. You chatted at the coffee machine. You grabbed lunch with a colleague who became a confidant.
Remote work and online education removed those accidental encounters almost entirely. Research shows that the average young remote worker has 2 fewer close friends than someone who works in person. And for many students who went through university online, they graduated without the friendships that used to be a defining part of the experience.
4. The friendship skills gap
Here’s something nobody talks about: making friends is a skill, and most young people never learned it properly.
Previous generations had countless hours of unstructured play, neighbourhood hanging out, and organic social situations where they practised approaching people, handling conflict, reading body language, and building trust. Today’s young adults grew up with structured activities, supervised playdates, and digital communication. Many are perfectly articulate in a group chat but freeze in a face-to-face conversation with a stranger.
This isn’t their fault. They simply didn’t get the practice.
The loneliness spiral: Loneliness makes you more anxious in social situations, which makes you avoid them, which makes you lonelier. Without intervention, this cycle is extremely difficult to break on your own.
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5. The culture of busyness
“Sorry, I’m so busy.” How many times have you said — or heard — this phrase? Our culture has turned busyness into a status symbol. If you have free time, something must be wrong with you.
The result: even when people want to connect, they can’t find the time. Friendships require repeated, unplanned interactions to deepen — what researchers call “proximity” and “frequency.” But when every minute is scheduled, there’s no room for the spontaneous hang-outs that turn acquaintances into real friends.
The Real Cost of Loneliness
Loneliness isn’t just uncomfortable — it’s dangerous. The health effects of chronic loneliness are now well-documented and staggering:
- Equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day in terms of health impact
- 26% increased risk of premature death
- 29% higher risk of heart disease
- 32% higher risk of stroke
- Dramatically increased rates of depression, anxiety, and substance abuse
The US Surgeon General called loneliness “the defining public health crisis of our time.” In Belgium and across Europe, the picture is similar: young people are suffering in silence, and the systems meant to support them weren’t designed for this kind of crisis.
The paradox: The generation most aware of mental health is also the most affected by one of its root causes — loneliness. Awareness without action isn’t enough. We need solutions.
Why Traditional Solutions Aren’t Working
“Just go out more.” “Join a club.” “Put your phone down.”
This advice isn’t wrong, but it’s incomplete. It places the entire burden on the individual and ignores the structural barriers that make connection so difficult today:
- Most events and clubs are designed for people who already have a social group — showing up alone feels daunting
- Generic meetup apps often feel transactional, not genuine
- There’s a gap between wanting connection and having a safe, low-pressure way to find it
- Mental health support focuses on coping with loneliness, not on building connections
What we need is something different. Something that lowers the barrier to showing up, creates structured but natural ways to connect, and is built around the understanding that genuine friendship requires more than swiping right.
Introducing: MentraNova Events
This is exactly why we’re building something new. MentraNova is launching an Events page — a dedicated space where people can discover, join, and create real-world events designed for genuine human connection.
This isn’t another meetup app. This is built from the ground up with everything we know about what actually makes friendships form:
Local & In-Person
Events near you, designed to get people in the same room. Walking groups, coffee meetups, workshops, sports sessions — real experiences with real people.
Interest-Based Matching
Find events that match your passions and values. You’re more likely to click with someone when you already share common ground.
Small Group Focus
No massive anonymous crowds. Events are designed for small, intimate groups where everyone gets to speak and be seen.
Coach-Led Experiences
Some events are hosted by MentraNova coaches — trained professionals who know how to create safe spaces and facilitate meaningful conversations.
Why this matters
Research on friendship formation is clear: lasting bonds are built through repeated, shared experiences in a comfortable environment. That’s exactly what MentraNova Events is designed to create. Not one-off awkward mixers, but a recurring rhythm of connection that gives friendships the time and space they need to grow.
Coming soon: The MentraNova Events page is currently in development. Whether you want to attend events, host them, or simply stay in the loop — download the app to be the first to know when it launches.
What You Can Do Right Now
While we build the Events page, here are evidence-based steps you can take today to start breaking the loneliness cycle:
1. Start embarrassingly small
Don’t try to find a best friend tomorrow. Start with a single, low-stakes interaction every day. Compliment a barista. Ask a colleague how their weekend was — and actually listen. Smile at a stranger. These tiny moments rebuild your social muscles.
2. Show up consistently to one thing
Pick one recurring activity — a running group, a language class, a weekly market — and commit to going every week for at least 2 months. Research shows it takes about 50 hours of interaction to move from acquaintance to casual friend, and 200+ hours to become close friends. You need time and repetition.
3. Be the initiator
Most people are waiting for someone else to make the first move. Be that person. Text someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Suggest a coffee. Organise a walk. You’ll be surprised how many people are relieved someone finally asked.
4. Put down the phone when you’re with people
This one is simple but powerful. When you’re in a social situation, be fully present. Put your phone away. Make eye contact. Ask follow-up questions. The quality of your interactions matters more than the quantity.
5. Consider coaching
If loneliness has become a persistent pattern, a coach can help you identify what’s holding you back, build social confidence, and create a concrete plan for building your community. This isn’t therapy — it’s practical, forward-looking support for people who want to take action.
A Vision for Reconnection
We believe something deeply: the loneliness crisis is not inevitable. It’s the result of specific social, technological, and cultural changes — and that means it can be reversed.
But it won’t happen by telling people to “just be more social.” It will happen by building the infrastructure for connection — creating spaces, events, and communities where showing up alone isn’t scary, where friendships can form naturally, and where people are supported by professionals who understand what genuine connection looks like.
That’s what MentraNova Events is about. Not replacing human connection with technology, but using technology to make human connection possible again.
Because at the end of the day, we don’t need more followers. We don’t need more likes. We don’t need another notification.
We need a friend who shows up.
Be Part of the Solution
MentraNova is building a community where real connections happen. Download the app, find a coach who gets you, and be the first to access MentraNova Events when it launches.
Frequently Asked Questions
Multiple factors converge: the decline of unstructured social time, remote work and online education reducing daily in-person contact, social media creating an illusion of connection without depth, and the disappearance of “third places” like community centres and local hangouts where people used to meet organically.
Yes. Multiple studies confirm that Gen Z (born 1997–2012) and younger Millennials report the highest rates of loneliness across all age groups. A 2023 Surgeon General advisory in the US declared loneliness a public health epidemic, with young adults disproportionately affected.
Events create structured opportunities for face-to-face interaction around shared interests. Unlike online socialising, in-person events build trust faster, allow for non-verbal communication, and create shared memories — all essential ingredients for forming genuine friendships.